His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
