i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
