So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
