is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
