your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Boobs are out for the taking
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
