I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
