i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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