One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize