I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
