just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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