last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
