sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So vagazzling was a success
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