I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
