My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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