I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
