I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
