i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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