You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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