I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
