I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize