Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
