Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
