I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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