So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The feeling are messing with the penis
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i out mim tonsoeep
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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