that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
