She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize