He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
