Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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