3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
