she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You were trust falling into bushes
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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