It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
