In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
