is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
