If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
