No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
