guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i drank out of a bidet.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
