my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
why do cheetos always look like penises
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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