I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
