Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
