i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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