There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
