Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
how drunk are you?
Several
How drunk are you?
Completed.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
