...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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