He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
