His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
as a side note pls kill me
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