if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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