i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
