Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
