I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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