bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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