Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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