dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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