My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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