We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
