there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
