I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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