Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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