what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
